[caption id="attachment_2924" align="aligncenter" width="500"]
This is an unfortunate product. But the client-focused copy is spot on.[/caption] In an old episode of
Family Guy, Meg makes a few failed attempts to engage her crush, Kevin, in conversation. She tells him she's worried about her dad, who is being held hostage inside a bank. He takes no notice of her. She says she might be scarred for life. Still nothing. She curtsies and says she got a new dress. Nada. Finally, a police officer overhears her and mutters a bit of priceless advice: try talking about him. Meg turns to Kevin and asks, "Do you like music?" And, suddenly, Kevin turns to her and starts listing all the bands he likes.
Family Guy may be a cartoon, but professional copywriters should treat this lesson like it came out of
The Copywriter's Handbook. If you want your customers to engage with you, you have to try talking about
them.
Focus on Customers First, Products Second
If this seems counter intuitive, that's OK. Of course you want to talk about your product. You worked hard to develop it. You're proud of it. You want people to know why it's unique and why they should buy it. But people don't buy your product because you're proud of it. They buy your product because they
need it. And they won't know how much they need it until you show them. But how do you do that? By focusing on the need first, the product second. To help illustrate my point, I will show you two pieces of copy, one product-focused and one client-focused.
Product Focused: After decades of research and development, we discovered the right recipe for soundproofing materials. Our hexagonal sound proofing discs are made with wood pulp and water. The mixture is then poured into a hexagonal mold. These discs, when mounted to a wall, can block sounds and echoes, creating a peaceful, restful environment. The discs are available in a broad range of colors, which allows consumers to create attractive patterns in addition to a quiet, sound-proofed space.
Client Focused: It's hard to sleep when your neighbor's alarm goes off. Or when he's watching
The Daily Show at full volume. Or serenading his girlfriend while clumsily strumming his guitar. It's true that some buildings are just old and lack adequate sound proofing, but that doesn't mean you have to live with it. Our hexagonal sound-proofing discs can help you block out unwanted noise and create an attractive pattern on your wall. To make our discs, we combine wood pulp with water and pour the mixture into a hexagonal mold. Then, we add color. We discovered this recipe for sound proofing after years of painstaking research and development. The discs are available in a wide variety of colors. To learn more, contact us today. Do you see the difference? The first example is well-written, but not very interesting. Customers don't care about your product enough to read about it, unless they need it. The second one immediately addresses a problem that many people face on a daily basis: apartment noise. This is effective copywriting. Remind potential customers of their need, and then show them how you can meet it.
Passive vs. Active Voice
As a bonus tip, notice that the first example uses the passive voice a lot, with phrases like, "are made with," "the mixtures is poured," "when mounted on a wall," etc. While it isn't incorrect to use the passive voice, it can make your writing less clear and less engaging. Conversely, the use of the active voice in the second example with phrases like, "to make our discs, we combine," "create an attractive pattern," "we add color," gives the copy more snap. The second example ends with a call to action, inviting customers to contact the company to learn more.
Client-Focused Copy Sells Products
If you want to move your products, you have to put your clients first. Demonstrate that you understand what their needs are. Once you've captured their attention, tell them about your product. If you have questions about effective copywriting, please
contact Ecreative to speak with our experienced copywriters. Photo credit:
jbcurio /
Foter /
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